Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
