they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
