She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
