i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
