I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
