ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Randomize