Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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