After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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