Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
