He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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