so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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