Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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