No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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