Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
