I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Can I color on your dick again?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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