I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
