Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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