it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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