i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Randomize
