well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
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