i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
All I want is dick and wine.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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