dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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