i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
it's like heaven, but drunker
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
