That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
