Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
