Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
