actually, I'm a sock model
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
