I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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