Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize