can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
