I CAN MOONWALK!
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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