So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
