Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize