We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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