Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
