Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
