Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
