He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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