they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
