it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
