I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
