Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
my sisters under your porch take her home
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
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