I hate all girls vehemently.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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