Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
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Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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