a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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