She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
