Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize