This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
