my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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