my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat