wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
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