you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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