I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
