your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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