I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
