i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
