I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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