May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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