you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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