great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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