why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
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