So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
