You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
