No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
