Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
