STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
The power of my boobs compel you
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
