Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
where are my eyebrows?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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