you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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