dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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