the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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