My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
